I can’t believe it’s been 2 months since I last posted something! I have had little time to write which I really do miss so today I am re-posting ” Soul Cleaning” from a few years ago ….
My first few months after my job loss I clean.
I clean as if my life depended on it.
I clean as though to make up for the years when I was not a good homemaker, when I was not a person concerned with order and cleanliness in my house.
When time marched on oblivious to the spring cleaning and fall cleaning that was taking place in other peoples’ homes.
I scrub away job loss and illness.
I take to emptying kitchen cupboards and washing its contents as to prove that there are things that I can control.
I sift through old dishes, re-aquaint myself with bowls and vases, smile at the chips in some of the wine glasses as it takes me back to the marvelous evenings which resulted in the chips in these glasses.
I am taken back in time by a plate with an image of the Royal York Hotel acquired at my very first sales conference too many years ago.
I climb up and down the ladder in my kitchen time and time again . I climb for those like my mom and my good friend who no longer have the capacity to climb up and down a ladder as though it were simply taking a breath.
I part with the “Lion King ” and the “Pocahontas” child sippy cups but hold on to the Winnie the Pooh Thermos. The thermos I taught my daughter to use when she set out on that first kindergarten day.
I part with the leftover half -burned birthday candles from so many childrens’ birthday parties .
I pack up my first set of dishes from my university days.
I examine what appears to be my very “chic ” past; espresso cups , escargot plates, brass samovars and china tea cups. Perhaps they will be used again in this next phase in my life ?
A cut glass sherry decanter that at the time made me feel so grown up in my very first apartment and at the same time allowed me to live out my Victorian phase as I walked and slept Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice.
So many mementos from my globetrotting days make it difficult to part with especially as my playlist right now has landed on Pat Benatar who is telling me “We Belong Together “.
A shot glass from a German pub in Brazil. A beer glass from a Hard Rock Cafe. A water pitcher, now glued together, that sat on my great grand’s dresser . Some blue ceramic cups my aunt made. My elephant tea pot from Thailand that leaks when I pour it but brings a smile to my face each time.
Three hours have escaped as I try to make “Sophie’s choice “.
They must be packed away, or given away. They are all a part of this ” letting go”.
I purposefully leave a whole half of an empty shelf to remind myself there are many beautiful bits of glass, silver and ceramic moments to come.