On the Sidelines of Radiation Therapy

December 2011

So here is how it happens for me.

I find a quiet place.

I close my eyes. I conjure up the beautiful image of you. I tell you I am there. I tell you to breathe. I tell you to accept this wonderful radiation and thank all those who discovered it could heal. Let the waves come all the way to your human sea and wash away all the debris and “dis-ease”.

I whisper in your ear to just let the rad do its work.

In my mind’s eye you are lying perfectly calm. Your mask has you bolted down but you are smiling. You are clutching a memento that is precious to you. Your piercing blue eyes are rendered all the more striking in the sterile colors that surround you and in the midst of your body which is getting more and more tiny.

You are listening to “what”? I can’t make that part out but it is something gentle and yet allows you to feel invincible.

The blue of your eyes dissipates because you close them the better to hear the flapping wings of the healing angels.

I am holding your hand. If I concentrate really hard. I feel the heat of your hand.

And…..you are on your way out of the rad room…

I embrace you just before you are loaded down under warm blankets and then I let you rest but I don’t leave you…I just partially pull the door and go on about my chores, smiling as you nap because I am anticipating the laughs we will have when I next see you.

 

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4 thoughts on “On the Sidelines of Radiation Therapy

    1. Well frankly I’d rather be there to cheer you on for something else 😉 but yup I’m there every step of the way where I am allowed. You inspire me.

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  1. The whole essay is touching but your choice to spell disease as dis-ease was a showstopper. It really depicts the journey. A journey that is not easy physically or something that can be travelled with ease emotionally. Your positivity is also inspiring.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment Kristi. I know you have been on the sidelines for too long and glad I managed to convey some of the emotions we go through in these situations .

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