I took this unwanted gift.
I turned it over on all sides to try to understand what it was about “it” and what it was about “me” that made us a likely fit.
I ran my hands over its contours and pattern in an effort to figure out how I was supposed to use it.
I tried it on for size.
I turned it inside out, took it apart, examined the stitching, bedazzled it and then stripped it down again.
I added salt, tried to soften it but no…that wasn’t it…
At first it was Ill fitting;
so enormous I felt I would drown, the fabric too transparent ; leaving me exposed, naked and cold.
It was rough, sand-papery and raw to the touch.
And so I took to studying it, appraising it and refining it and …..it began to take on a liberating feel.
I began to try less to mould it to fit me but rather; to study its folds and creases and start forming myself to its fluidity, to the way it bent slightly in the wind, darkened under the sun and glistened in the rain.
I allowed it to sit on the ground floor of my mind and I watched it from that loft in my consciousness.
I clearly saw how on some days it wished to remain listless and unworn on the floor while other days it begged to be taken out of doors, laid gently on a field of wild flowers all the while providing a blanket for partakers of a picnic.
Still other days; it slid lazily as though between sand and lovers on a beach or ….on those most baffling days, cloaked a mysterious stranger.
As the days turned in to weeks then in to seasons I came to the understanding that this seemingly untimely, unwanted, unattractive and unappealing offering of losing my employment of more than two decades was indeed a beautiful gift . One which I will have in fact cherished.